Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Got Ears?

Are you a good listener? Do you make a conscious effort to understand people with whom you interact? How about those with whom you find yourself in disagreement?

I have noticed that there are some folks who are so eager to prove their points that they will not wait until the other party has finished speaking. They lack a very important quality of a good leader or moderator; that of listening.

Listening requires more than simply hearing the words of the other person. It involves trying to understand where they are coming from, what motivates their words and attitudes, and what pressures may be causing them to act in the manner they do.

Do you hear what I'm saying?

9 comments:

Only Look said...

Gotta testify that I am still learning to open these ears. I am a prime candidate for what you are talking about. It is one of the reasons I make so few comments anymore and especially at the debate blogs where everyone does indeed seem to be talking past each other constantly. I look back now and see how much I did that and listened so little and misrepresented so much:-)

Grace upon grace,

Brian

Sidharth said...

Thats a very wise decision Brian. Be quick to hear and slow to speak. Wise people are those who speak, but they're words are usually less.

Sidharth

Anthony said...

There is a reason that we have two ears and one mouth, huh?

Jim said...

Anthony, that is a very good point.

Thanks for stopping by.

Jim

Todd said...

Jim, that is so true. Superficiality and speed generally rule the day in many group discussions. Anything worth saying usually takes some time to think about, and even more time to get stated properly and adequately, and often our group bible study protocols don't include letting people who may not be as gifted at expressing themselves, speak without the constant worry of being interrupted by someone who doesn't have the patience or curiosity to wait and understand what they're saying.

You see it in blogging as well. People jumping in and derailing a sensitive discussion between two individuals. Many times on purpose.

Many learn the complicated dynamic of successful dialogue and many never do. The only hope is to continue to teach by example I guess. Blessings Jim. Todd

Only Look said...

Good thoughts Todd. Then there is also the dishonesty we are tempted with. Like the man that was looking at a hot horseshoe and picked it up and dropping it instantly.

The other guy looked at him and said, "Hot horseshoe huh?"

"No, it just doesn't take me very long to look at a horseshoe." He proudly responded while everyone else knows what he did, but he does not want to admit to it.

You see that a lot out here. Someone makes a point and then to parry it they disagree with their own selves sometimes but then turn around and say that is not what they meant.

We can all be tempted to do that, but what you say Todd is good stuff. It is always best to think before we speak. I have always spoken before I thought, but then I have noticed others out here that speak like the guy who picked up the horseshoe and know but say it in a clever way. The bottom line though is indeed true. We have 2 ears and one mouth. Good to make fewer comments that are thought outs and saturated in hearing the other guy out.

Grace upon grace,

Brian

Todd said...

Amen Brian.

Joe said...

I'm sorry...were you saying something?

Bhedr said...

Merry Christmas